For my whole life I've thought deeply about philosophy. I have experienced a great deal of mental and spiritual pain throughout my life mainly due to my severe clinical depression, problems with school, and social alienation. This pain has nearly driven me to suicide. In trying to find meaning I think about philosophy almost constantly; I could probably write a lot about this question but I never thought anyone would read it so I never did. An essential part of my philosophy:
A “person,” a “human,” or a “soul,” (whatever it is to be called) is composed of many different parts. These parts often fight with eachother. For example, a part of me is arrogant and believes that I know everything. Other parts of me are afraid of that arrogance, other parts are ashamed. As a consciousness this means that I am often unwilling to admit ignorance, incorrectness, or especially any immaturity. This part of me believes I am mature beyond my years so much as to outrank adults I know. The other parts of me are overpowering this part, but it is honestly painful for me to admit that this part of me exists. It is also painful to admit that this part of me is probably wrong.
These different parts come together to form the gestalt that is the human consciousness. My mother would say that this is a conflict between the ego and the oversoul, or Self. She believes in a combination of East-Asian and Jungian philosophy. I think that a person is composed of even more parts than that, that perhaps those are just categories of the various components of the soul. A wise soul seeks to align these parts and find balance between them.
I am relatively sure of this all because I truly feel it within my own mind.
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