Eulogy

 Colin's death could not have come at a more unfortunate time. He went through much of the anguish of his life without ever experiencing the happiness he wanted. He contributed very little of what he had to offer to the world. He had big ideas and dreams that for various reasons he never really fulfilled.

He really won't be remembered by the world. Surrounded by people who worked hard to impress the world and compete even in high school, Colin struggled to survive. Although he learned quickly, was knowledgeable, and was extremely intelligent, Colin had problems with doing his school work. He never joined any clubs at Whitney Young and never felt connected there. The intense and perhaps elitist environment of the school made him feel alienated. He was not popular, had a low GPA, and never did anything noteworthy academically. His name was never read over the intercom.

Those who will probably remember him are his friends. He was known for a cynical but honest sense of humor. Although he was often abrasive, he was never mean. He truly tried to put out a positive aura and energy. Whenever he and someone else started to hate eachother, he had a hard time holding up his end of the bargain. Although he saw the bad in people, he saw the good as well. He always had something funny or witty or stupid to say.

Although the pendulum of his life had only started swinging, he did reach some kind of resolution by the start of senior year, compared to how he was as a freshman. His life went to hell that year, as he began to truly suffer from depression. At that time he wanted to become “cool” by high school standards and desperately wanted to fit in. He passed off friendships with people he didn't think were cool enough in favor of getting in with whoever looked like they were popular. Over the years, however, this changed. He realized that the popular kids were really just boring. He found friends who, despite annoying him, really liked him for who he was and maybe even cared about him. He realized that the way society views a person is so skewed that it's not even worth thinking about. And his depression only made his perceptions more extreme. By late Junior year he finally realized that the thoughts of others had none of the merit or weight he attributed to them, and that he was really free to talk to or be with whoever he wanted. He realized he was free to be who he wanted to be.

So even though he didn't fulfill much of his potential, and even though his life was troubled, perhaps it was not wasted. He did find some peace and happiness within himself, and was becoming more and more comfortable with what he believed and with who he was. Sucks that he's dead though.